I’m not going to lie to you, I’ve been trying to figure out what my first blog post should be for the last few weeks since I finished making my blog pretty. I’ve written a variety of draft posts in varying topics and none of them had that first post punch I was looking for. I celebrated my 27th birthday in March, or my third 25th birthday which is what I usually tell people and what better way to kick this blog off with a list of life lessons.
- The biggest piece of advice I tell anyone, or show anyone because it’s tattooed on my left arm, is to stay weird. Let your freak flag fly. Hold on to your weirdness and don’t let the
bastardsmuggles get you down. I cannot stress this enough. Do not closet yourself; be the authentic, badass, weirdo you were born to be!
- Take care of your mental health and don’t you dare let anyone make you believe it’s selfish. Anyone that makes you feel guilty and makes you believe that taking care of your mental health is selfish, doesn’t really belong in your life. It doesn’t matter if it’s friend or family.
- In terms of friends AND family, quality over quantity always. It took me a long time to learn that and I still mess up from time to time. Find those few weirdos who really understand you and are just as happy flying their freak flags with you, and you love them hard. You make your own little tribe and you dance to the beat of your own drums.
- Stop caring so much about what others think about your weight. I get it, I’m fat, you really didn’t need to whisper it behind me or make snarky comments. It’s okay to wear dresses and shorts. What others say or think is on them, NOT ON YOU.
- Trust your intuition more. I wish I had learned this when I was so much younger because your gut instinct is one of your biggest allies in life.
- A boring life is totally okay. And usually saves you money.
- When opportunity comes knocking at your door, fucking answer it because it probably won’t be back. No, but seriously, open that door.
- Throw kindness around like confetti! It sounds totally like cliche but it’s true. What you put out into the Universe will come back to you in the end. This goes hand in hand with treat others like you would like them to treat you.
- Therapy is not a bad thing. I spent most of my adolescent years in therapy for various reasons and totally hating it. As an adult, I see it’s importance now more than ever regardless of my mental state.
- Learn the balance between saving and having experiences. Yes money is meant to be spent and not saved but there’s a fine line between living in your means and having a life, and having a life but living beyond your means. The sooner you learn it the better!
- Don’t fuck up your credit because you’ll spend forever and a half trying to fix it. Louder for the people in the back: DON’T FUCK WITH CREDIT CARDS! Your credit score is important and hugely affects the life you will live.
- You won’t figure out what you want to be when you grow up while you’re in high school. That was a highly unrealistic expectation and going to college right after you graduate is a bad idea. Four colleges and four areas of study later and still no degree.
- Your first real relationship probably isn’t “the one”. But he led me to my husband so I can’t complain that much!
- Your parents aren’t the enemy! If they ever read this blog post I’ll deny it. Kidding.
- Drink lots of water. This is so important. Water is literally the essence of life and will help out so many problems you have whether it’s physical or mental. Seriously, make drinking water a habit like brushing your teeth or taking a shower.
- Being an aunt is probably the coolest thing ever and is a title I’m proud to flaunt around. I think being an aunt is my absolute favorite thing and my nieces and nephews mean the world to me.
- On the topic of children, getting pregnant isn’t as easy as everyone thinks, especially when you’re really trying for it.
- Have a variety of creative outlets and hobbies to keep you sane. Crocheting, cooking, coloring books, writing, drawing, painting, baking, photography and everything in between. Do all the creative things!
- Make sure you get outside more often. Fresh air, sunny skies and the breeze singing in the trees. Enjoy those moments and take the time to get outside and really enjoy Mother Earth. It’s good for you.
- Keep an open mind when meeting new people! You never know how significant those people can end up and how they will affect your life. I have two very best friends, one I met 10 years ago when we were the dates of a mutual ex girlfriend. Neither of us talk to her anymore but she led us to a lifelong, soulmatey kind of friendship that Judy Blume writes books about. The other best friend I met in Salem, MA during a night of paranormal investigating with a large group of people I was friends with at the time. Needless to say, a really great night led to a very Tina Fey and Amy Poehler type of friendship and I can’t picture a day without her.
- When your best friend tells you not go online that day, listen to her. She’s usually warning you about something major happening and it’s almost never good news.
- Learn about the benefits of medical cannabis and hemp. I could probably write a 20 slide PowerPoint presentation on cannabis and hemp but I’ll spare you. I use cannabis medically. It helps with a lot of things. I also use hemp in all kinds of ways from skin care products to food products to edibles made with CBD from hemp that help with anything from menstrual cramps to anxiety to headaches and not being able to sleep.
- Just because the store sells it doesn’t mean it’s good for you. As mentioned above, I use cannabis and hemp for all kinds of things and a huge reason is because I hate taking pills of any kind. This also goes with nutrition and learning more about it. It took me a long time to change my relationship with food (I suffer from binge eating disorder) and a lot of food I ate up until the last 2 years was pretty much shit. Less meat, more produce, more organic!
- Your husband is your ultimate best friend so treat him like it. There was a brief period where I put other people before my husband and was a really mediocre wife. It took a little while for me to realize it but when I did it helped me get myself back on track, and once I was back on track then I was back to being a good spouse. Sorry babe.
- Don’t be scared to step out of your comfort zone. Take that road trip. Check out that apartment in the “gross” city. Talk to that stranger at the library. Seriously, I was terrified of leaving my comfort zone of New England for the longest time but have since driving across the country and have no intentions to stop exploring any time soon. And I live in a relatively decent apartment in a questionable neighborhood but honestly I feel completely safe 100% of the time, I love living in the city and I’ve got some really nice neighbors.
- It’s okay and normal to change your opinion on things. 27 year old me and 16 year old me have very different views on marijuana use, both recreational and medical. Over time we grow as people and it’s okay to change your opinion on things. In fact it’s totally normal! I don’t have the same views I did when I was 16, 21 or even 26. We’re forever changing and evolving.
- Destroy yourself so you can find out who you really are and see who really cares. A while back I hit what I considered to be rock bottom. I destroyed countless friendships and relationships with family members. I wasn’t taking care of myself or making good choices. So yes there was a lot of bad stuff going on but good came of it! I was able to give myself a fresh start, figure things out for myself, learn who I was, keep the people in my life who matter, repaired things with others. In the words of queen J.K. Rowling, “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”
What about you, what important lessons have you learned during your time alive?